Beyond LGBTQQIA etc, Who’s a Member of Our Club?

This blog is part of a series I'm writing while I'm updating the fifteen year old "My Gender Workbook" for Routledge Press. I'm asking for your voice to be included in the spiffy new version, because you are so much more than the first version of the book could have predicted. Every couple of days, I'll be posting a new question for you to ponder. If the question tickles your fancy, by all means please speak to it. For more about this update, check out the original blog. Thanks for your help.

The designation LGBT is problematic for many reasons, but primarily:

  1. LGBT conflates identities based on sexualities with identities based on gender. That's not problematic, because both sexuality and gender have roots in desire and desireability—so we fit together just fine, even though we are two spaces of categorization.
  2. LGBT—the four letters, and even a few more—doesn't begin to cover the number of people who claim identities that hinge on sexuality and gender. This is a problem, because people get left out or they're actively barred from membership and that's just not right. It's way past the time when we can exclude people based on shades of meaning. 

Over the past few years, I've been putting together a list of claimed identities who hinge on gender anarchy and sex positivity. These are the people I want to hang out with. These are the people whose activism I would support, and whose rights I would stand up for. With your help, I've increased the list from 141 identities to 185!! I know that I'm far from done. I need your help, please, to finish this list. Kindly let me know what identities I've missed, and what identities I may have erroneously added to the list.

I'm particularly interested in regional slang, and names of identities from countries other than North America. I'm not looking for names that other people may call us in order to shame or degrade us—but if we use one or more of those words for ourselves with pride and dignity, then it goes on the list. In some cases, I've made words up—I've indicated these with an asterisk, and I'll be defining them in the list that ends up going into the workbook.

Here are the requirements for membership

  1. The identity is based in outlawed or marginalized sexuality or gender. I sum that up as gender anarchy and sex positivity.
  2. Those who've got more privilege than others use their privilege to uplift, support and encourage others.
  3. No members can be mean to others.

So, here's the updated PDF of people I'd like to have in my clubhouse: Download GASP 2

See if you can spot yourself on the list thus far. Let me know who I've missed, or anyone I've added by mistake. I'll try to update the list daily, so keep checking back so you don't miss out on any of the fun.

Thank you so much.

Auntie Kate

PS — if there's a word or identity on this list you don't know, give it a google!

Reminder: You can answer in the comments section of this blog, but Twitter is the very best way to respond. Response length, wherever you do it, is maximum 280 characters, two tweels. Your tweets do NOT have to be addressed to me, but DO remember to put the hashtag #MNGW on ALL your tweets about this or any other gender-y thing that might pop into your adorable li'l head.


  1. Have you seen the the art project that I did with Jen Crothers?
    It continues to be an amazing experience!

  2. You definitely need stud – what a lot of black butches call themselves in Oakland.

  3. It looks like you’ve got Guevedoche listed twice. Also, how about Fruit Fly, Dyke Pike, and/or Dyke Tyke?

  4. A for Ambigenderous.

  5. Fey 🙂
    I normally find myself having to expand this, when pushed, to Fey Aspie Transmasculine Genderqueer, but to my mind I am Fey and that is all I wish to be.
    I want to tell you that I love you but I’m no good at writing gushing emails which is why I’ve not before now.
    So, yeah. <3

  6. Hi K – I’m so inspired by your work!
    I recently read a book set in the mid-1800s that referred to gay men as “nellies/a nelly.” It didn’t appear to have any negative connotations, more endearing actually, although I am not sure that was always the case. It was mostly used in the art world, where it was a little more accepted for men to be effeminate. For some reason I liked it. It might be a good addition because of the historical context.

  7. Demisexuals. People whose romantic orientation isn’t their sexual orientation (that may include heteroromantics, homoromantics, biromantics, etc.)

  8. A for agender.

  9. N for neutrois.
    S for slash fans. Fandom takes the reins from straight white cis males and hands them to whoever will take them and run as far outside of the target demographic, of Middle America’s comfort zone, as they can.

  10. It seems so obvious that maybe I missed it, but I didn’t see Transman or Transwoman on there, only ‘Trans’. I’ll have a think on what else might be missing.

  11. I like Bender. It says something, but an ambiguous something, about both gender and sexuality.

  12. Can I hear an ‘I’ for ‘involuntary celibate’?

  13. D is for demisexual, G is for Gray-A, H is for homoromantic, heteroromantic 🙂 Love the list. I’ve been looking for something like this. Got a couple to google indeed. Awesome!

  14. פֿייגעלע

  15. su nombre aquí

    Does a term from a pretty much defunct message board count as a regional variation? Barbelith Underground used Queterosexual in place of and around Queer Heterosexual or, sometimes, the limin between identities.

  16. Kinsey 0?

  17. intergender!

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