Wait! Is that a heartbeat I hear in the heartland?

Gay_pride_dance_2 There’s free rounds of drinks in all the gay bars in Iowa tonight, you betcha. A court has just overturned the Iowa state law that bans same-sex marriage. No, really. Gay marriage has reared it’s gorgeous, legal head in Iowa, the US heartland. I’m positively elated.

I’ve been a huge fan of the Mid-West LGBTIQQA movement for years. That’s lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, intersex, queer, questioning, and allies. In my campus travels around the US for the past dozen years or so, it’s been mostly the red states where I’ve met and had the privilege of working with the some of the most loving, caring dedicated sex positivists and gender anarchists I’ve ever met. And I just wanted to say YAY FOR IOWA!!! Thank you for living up to my 50’s dream of an America based on fair play.

Yes, yes, yes… it’s going to go to the state supreme court. And it may indeed end up in the Bush-picked Supreme Court. But just seeing a bunch of judges in Iowa stand up and say STOP BEING SO MEAN to the mean people who passed that ban? That gives me a great deal of hope for my country.

Mind you,I am not a big fan of gay marriage. I am not a fan of
marriage, period. It’s a privileging institution based on an
increasingly rigid US class system. Marriage is steeped in a
theocratically-determined capitalist heteronormativity (say that one
three times fast!). The over-2700 additional rights granted to married
couples are supposed to be granted on behalf of the children in the family. Even the parents who throw queer kids out of the house, or do worse to
them. They get all those 2700 rights even when they do that to their
own kids.

The marriage system as it stands today needs a complete
overhaul, and there are a lot of smart people writing about that. The most articulate person I know who’s writing on this subject is Mattilda, aka Matt Sycamore Bernstein. We may even be related. Bornstein, Bernstein. It all depended on who was on duty that hour on Ellis Island.

So, it’s celebration time in Iowa. I wish I could be there with them. I wish I could thank the judges in person for being decent people in the face of some pretty mean laws and morals. Here’s one Jewish, transsexual sadomasochistic dyke anarchist who’s deeply touched and grateful to the corn-fed mom-and-apple-pie folks of the US heartland who dare to wear their heart on their sleeves the same way I have to wear mine.


  1. well written, affectionate, and interesting blog.
    if you ever get the chance, come visit me
    my blog is http://nastypredator.blogspot.com (not nearly as menacing as it sounds 🙂 )

  2. well written, affectionate, and interesting blog.
    if you ever get the chance, come visit me
    my blog is http://www.BrawnyHunk.com (not nearly as superficial as it sounds 🙂 )

  3. Hello, you have a wonderful blog, but I can’t find your email address, can you please contact me at linkexchange@edenfantasys.com? I have something to discuss with you
    Regards, Chris
    (Please can you delete this comment after your decision?)

  4. Hey, how are you doing?
    I know you are extremely busy with all your engagements, writing, performing and globetrotting to spread the good word about trannies, genderqueers and being true to oneself, if you’re not harming anyone!
    You made a huge impression on me and all the young trans people who attended the Trans With Pride Conference and Transfabulous Arts Festival in London, June 2007, with your workshops, talks and performances, and opening my eyes to so many possibilities of asserting my own identity to a world which constantly demands that I conform to so many binaries of gender, sexuality, culture, taste and world views…
    You are truly an inspiration and I have thought long and hard about contacting you, whether or not you would be able or willing to support the young queers and trannies of Manchester, England, but to hell with it, here goes my request of sorts…
    Basically, it seems that the authorities in Manchester not only want to shut down the long-established LGBT Community Centre, but also end the provision of all LGBTQI-specific youth groups, including Under 19’s, Young Gay, Bisexual and Transmens’ Group, Young Lesbian & Bisexual Women’s Group, LGBTQI Drop-ins, helpline and the group I have set-up from scratch, Trans Youth Manchester – all of these are currently funded by Manchester City Council and are part of Manchester Youth Services, so unless there is a wealthy benefactor out there, all these services would end without the support of the local authority.
    Collectively and without hierarchy or oppression, all the young LGBTQI people have come together with the other user groups of the LGBT Community Centre to present a united front in support of the Centre and we are about to publish an open letter of support, which we are asking as many people to sign as possible, to show the breadth of feeling and support out there for all the amazing community work which happens in the safe queer space of the Centre.
    Again, I understand you must be completely over-committed and receive loads of requests from people all over the world, but I am writing to you to genuinely ask for any support at this point for Trans Youth Manchester and for Manchester’s Queer Community to continue to have a safe LGBTQI space at the Centre.
    It would be hugely appreciated if you could possibly sign the forthcoming letter, or indicate your support for Manchester’s LGBT Community Centre by joining us as a supporter on My Space, or agreeing to be on the list of people who support the Friends, Supporters and Users of the Sidney Street LGBT Centre, publicly displayed on our online spaces and all over Manchester!
    (To clarify, there is no expectation or request for financial support, as we are purely trying to raise awareness and gather visible support for the LGBT Community Centre).
    Thank you in advance for any time or effort in reading this request for support and we are all hugely appreciative of any of your energies spent in supporting Manchester’s LGBT Community Centre, in whatever way you can at this point.
    Yours Queerly,
    On behalf of Friends, Supporters & Users of Sidney Street LGBT Centre
    PS – We have an announcements mailing list and direct email address, if you would like to contact us directly and/or be kept informed of what is happening with the Sidney Street LGBT Centre:
    Email – savethegaycentre@yahoo.co.uk
    Announcements Mailing List – Send a blank email to:
    Facebook Group:

  5. Kate! I went to your speech in Portlant last night, I met you with Lis from OUT! as I want to be. The GLTB group… We’re sorry we didn’t get to see your whole thing, it was completely full and we were so bummed, but we are happy we got to see the Q&A… Take care!

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