Eulogy for my brother, Alan V. Bornstein


The memorial service for my brother was held down on the Jersey Shore yesterday, January 2nd 2009. The service was held three days after he died, according to the wishes of his wife's family who aren't Jewish and don't observe the 24 hour rule for burials. Anyway, my brother and I both decided we'd rather be cremated so that messes up any orthodox burial. On top of that, I've got a gazillion tats, and just one tat will keep you barred from a Jewish cemetery burial. I'm babbling.

I hate that my brother is gone. This is a picture of me, him, and our Dad's dog, Skippy. 

 I'm home with the flu and a bad case laryngitis I've had for two days now. The laryngitis went away for the 13 minutes it took me to deliver his eulogy, and then it came back. That's show biz, it is. The show must go on is part of my ethos.

Before his body was cremated, I got to sit with my brother for awhile. I told him what I wanted to tell
him. I listened to what he had to say. I could hear him laughing. I hope I'm always able to hear him laughing—he loved a good joke. I promised him I'd write him a kick-ass eulogy. I promised him I'd make people laugh and I'd make 'em cry. He liked that. So this is the text of that eulogy

I hate that my big brother is gone. I hope the eulogy makes you laugh and makes you cry.

Happy new year. 



  1. *hugs* May you find comfort in his laughter and all of the fond memories during this rough tough. He’d be proud of the eulogy you wrote.

  2. So touching. You are in my thoughts, Kate. Always.

  3. Kate, my condolences to you on your brother’s passing.

  4. Hi
    The eulogy did indeed make me laugh and make me cry – thankyou for posting. Sounds like he was a great person to have around. May the memories of him glow bright this 2009 – happy New Year.

  5. I am so so sorry about your brother 🙁

  6. I am so sorry to hear about your brother, our hearts go out to you.

  7. …this is very late, but I’ve only just discovered your blog. I’m sorry for your loss.
    One minor point, though: “On top of that, I’ve got a gazillion tats, and just one tat will keep you barred from a Jewish cemetery burial.” Complete myth. Never been true, even among the most fervently Orthodox.

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