Ajmal Hussein and The Scholars, by Idries Shah

Over the past couple of decades, I've ended up on the losing side of philosophical and pedagogical run-ins with scholars, academics, and students who are trying to learn scholarly, academic ways. I inevitably manage to lift my spirits by reading and re-reading this essay by Idries Shah.

Nasrudin
Idries Shah writes about Sufis, who are to Islam roughly what Zen practitioners are to Buddhism: out and out fools and borderline apostates. Sufis and Zen masters teach with comedy, fun, slapstick, irreverence, and paradox—all of which have for aeons been anathema to the world of serious scholarship and academia. 
I highly recommend any of Idres Shah's books, but particularly any of his collection of tales of the Grand Mulla Nasrudin—a much beloved Sufi Trickster character, most commonly portrayed riding backwards on his beloved donkey.
However, in this essay from his book, The Wisdom of Idiots, Idries Shah writes about a true Sufi master: Ajmal Hussein. In this tale, Shah attempts to delineate Sufi wisdom from scholarly knowledge. Here's the essay in its entirety. If you enjoy it, please consider buying yourself a copy of The Wisdom of Idiots.

The Story of Ajmal Hussein and The Scholars

Sufi Ajmal Hussein was constantly being criticized by scholars, who feared that his repute might outshine their own. They spared no efforts to cast doubts upon his knowledge, to accuse him of taking refuge from their criticisms in mysticism, and even to imply that he had been guilty of discreditable practices. At length he said:

‘If I answer my critics, they make it the opportunity to bring fresh accusation against me, which people believe such things. If I do not answer them they crow and preen themselves, and people believe that they are real scholars. They imagine that we Sufis oppose scholarship. We do not. But our very existence is a threat to the pretended scholarship of tiny noisy ones. Scholarship long since disappeared. What we have to face now is sham scholarship.’

The scholars shrilled more loudly than ever. At last Ajmal said:

‘Argument is not as effective as demonstration. I shall give you an insight into what these people are like.’

He invited ‘question papers’ from the scholars, to allow them to test his knowledge and ideas. Fifty different professors and academicians sent questionnaires to him. Ajmal answered them all differently. When the scholars met to discuss these papers, at a conference, there were so many versions of what he believed, that each one thought that he had exposed Ajmal, and refused to give up his thesis in favor of any other. The result was the celebrated ‘brawling of the scholars.’ For five days they attacked each other bitterly.

‘This,’ said Ajmal, ‘is a demonstration. What matters to each one most is his own opinion and his own interpretation. They care nothing for truth. This is what they do with everyone’s teachings. When he is alive, they torment him. When he dies they become experts on his works. The real motive of the activity, however, is to vie with one another and to oppose anyone outside their own ranks. Do you want to become one of them? Make a choice soon.'

Idries Shah    

Boy, that makes my day. I feel better already. How about you?

Beginning next week, I head out on my next round of speaking and performance engagements. I hope to see you soon.

warmly,

Kate

You say goodbye. I say hello.

Hello goodbye
******************************************

Watching Inauguration 09 in my living room. Shot this on my iPhone using an App called Quad Camera. (click image for full size photo)
Four snaps for President Barack Hussein Obama! Big love for all of us!
— Kate

This Is How I Remember Things

Davids_family_b4_TP
This past Christmas holiday, I visited my partner Barbara's family up in Middletown, RI. I've been going up there for Christmas for the past 12 years. This year, Barbara's cousin gave Barbara a rare photo of her family, gathered round for the wedding of her mom and dad. I told B's family I'd do my best to recover the picture. This is how the photo looked when I scanned it in.

I've been a PhotoShop enthusiast for many years. I've learned tricks and tips reading books by Scott Kelby, and attending his seminars. But I never sat down to recover a picture in as bad a shape as this one. There's scratches, missing faces, burnt out details. You can click on the photo to see it full size.

Davids_family_after
I went to work, adjusting contrasts, coaxing out details, sharpening blurry parts, removing scratches and splotches. Where the hole was too big, I had to fudge a face or two. In the parts of the photo that were almost completely grayed out, I had to invent new outfits for a couple of the gentlemen in the back row. After about a day's work, I ended up with this photo. I was even able to enlarge it a bit. You can click on it to see the full picture. It's not bad for a first whack at correcting an old photo.

I'm the last one left with many memories and stories about my brother, my father, and my mother. I'm 60 years old, so there's a LOT to remember and I tend to get fuzzy on details. I tend to tell what Mark Twain would call stretchers. But I've sworn to myself to make this new memoir I'm writing as accurate and as loving as I possibly can. So, how do I access the memories I alone possess? That worried me until I corrected this photo. See, I've long been a practicer of Cheri Huber's Zen koan: The way you do anything is the way you do everything. And I realized that the way I corrected this photo is the way I'm going to have to remember my mother, my father, and my brother.  

In writing this memoir, I'm going to be coaxing out details of my memory. I'll do my best to sharpen the blurry parts. If I have to fudge a face or two, I'm going to err on the side of love and the best in them. If I have to dress up any of the stories about people in order to fill in the holes of my memory, I'll do my best to make people look as good as I can most lovingly wish them to look. 

And that's how I'm going to remember enough to write this memoir.

Kiss Kiss

K

PS — A really good resource for PhotoShop users is the National Association of Photoshop Users. I'm a member whenever I can afford it. The monthly magazine alone is great, plus there's a live chat room with PhotoShop users who've always been able to answer my questions about how to get things done. 

How I Met Wendy Chapkis and Why I Love Her So

Wendy_chapkis
So okay, is the woman in this picture amazing, or what? 

This is Wendy Chapkis, a mentor of mine and long-time crush. When I was a baby tranny in San Francisco—a two-year old girl in 1988—I ran across a copy of Wendy's book, Beauty Secrets: Women and the Politics of Appearance.  

I was trying my best to be a woman. I was trying my best to be political. I was standing alone, scared, in the feminist aisle of a women's bookstore. I was keeping secrets, and I was obsessed with my appearance. Here was this woman writing proudly about sporting her moustache… what effect that had on her day to day life, and how she dealt with all the bullshit that comes with being a freak of beauty, a beautiful freak.  

Wow! Shivering, I thumbed through her book and I saw it's brilliant theme: women do a lot of things in secret in order to make themselves look beautiful. Things they don't want you to know about, like their moustaches. Like my year-old newly constructed vagina. Wendy Chapkis wrote about how it's time to not keep secrets any more. In 1988, this was an astonishing idea. I left the bookstore with her book in my pocketbook. I felt the beginnings of personal liberation. And I was totally crushed out on this hot, strong babe with a moustache.


I worked selling subscriptions at the San Francisco Symphony. My arts writer pay from the gay paper, The Bay Area Reporter, didn't come close to covering expenses. The SF Symphony phone room was old school—we didn't use computers back then. We called names and phone numbers written on 5×7 cardboard cards. Well, two weeks after I found Wendy's book, there I was sitting in the phone room of the SF Symphony. I was holding a 5×7 card with Wendy Chapkis' name, phone number, address, and musical preferences. Oh. My. Goddess. Score!

I dialed. Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring. Answering machine. Damn! Phone room policy mandated we return any unanswered calls to the common pile, not keep them for calling again later. It was a good policy. It kept folks from hoarding what they thought might be easy sales. But I kept Wendy Chapkis' card with me. I brought that card back to the phone room every day for a week, and was too afraid to call. Finally, I got my courage…  It took two weeks of calling until I finally reached a live Wendy. 

Hello, Ms. Chapkis? This is Kate Bornstein calling from the San Francisco Symphony about your… say-y-y-y-y-y, wait a minute… is this Wendy Chapkis who wrote the book, Beauty Secrets?


Our friendship has grown over the past 20 years. Wendy teaches at the University of Maine. Her partner way back then and to this very day is Gabe. Gabe makes great jewelry and gives great arts and political grassroots organizing. Wendy and Gabe were and still are the outest dyke couple I've ever known. I love 'em to pieces. 

So… why'm I writing about this now? Wendy's got a new book! It's called Dying to Get High: Marijuana as Medicine. I haven't read it yet, but… hello? What an amazing topic. Wendy's coming to New York City to read at Bluestockings Books on Monday, December 1st at 7pm. I'm going. I'll buy my signed copy—I still have that crush—and I'll set that book down on the night table next to my bed for a nightly read. If you're a New York area teen, freak or outlaw, please join me at the reading. And look for me. I'll be the tall redhead looking longingly at the author.

kiss kiss

Kate

May We Please Remember Abraham Biggs Today?

Nineteen year old Abraham Biggs linked himself to a website streaming live video. In front of the camera, he purposefully OD'd on prescription meds. He lived in Broward County, Florida where he wasn't man enough to live. That's what he thought. 

Charles_atlas
"I am in love with a girl and I know that I am not good enough for her," he wrote on a body-building forum. "I have come to believe that my life has all been meaningless. I keep trying and I keep failing. I have thought about and attempted suicide many times in the past." He wrote this
on a body-building forum. He was trying to build his body, and this is what he wrote there. Connection?

Wendy Crane, an investigator at the Broward County Medical Examiner's office, is ABC News' source. She said, "People were egging him on and saying things like 'go ahead and do it, faggot." Faggot. Connection?

According to ABC News, Wired Magazine chimed in by reporting comments written in response to Abraham's suicidal posts—comments ranging from OMG to LOL. One commenter wrote, "hahaha hahahahha hahahahahah ahhaha." Another comment read, "Instant Darwinism …" which was seconded by, "fucking a nicely put." And guess what… other commenters called Abraham a "coward," a "faggot" and a "dick." Connection?

The connection is the bipolar gender system—the simplistic belief that there are men and there are women, and everyone else deserves to die. The bipolar gender/sexuality matrix kills a lot of people, that's what I want to say. Whether we kill ourselves, or people kill us because we're not real mean or real women… we end up dead, damn it. So are we allowed to mourn Abraham Biggs today, on Transgender Day of Remembrance? I am. Bless your heart, Abraham. I am so sorry you thought you weren't good enough. 

I am so sorry that we as a culture haven't yet figured out how to deal with gender as a hierarchal system of oppression that kills kids like Abraham, as clearly as race kills kids, class kills kids, and sexuality kills kids. Gender as an oppressive system is as deadly as looks, ability, religion, age and citizenship—all hierarchal systems of oppression. Can we please remember that on this Transgender Day of Remembrance? 

Okay, I'm gonna go cry now. 

Kate

Okay… Overturn Prop 8, but F*ck Marriage Anyway

Caveat: this blog is seriously high on my crone/curmudgeon scale of crankiness.

I have problems with these Prop 8 protests. If you don’t already know about the Proposition 8 mess going on in California and nation-wide, here’s a wiki-summary. Yeah, if I’m not working, I plan to join the protest. But no, I won’t be protesting a ban on marriage equality. I’ll be protesting because I care about the legal ramifications and precedents set with passing Prop 8.

Marriage_joysThe brouhaha concerning marriage equality is generated by people who say they’re speaking for all LGBTQ people everywhere in this country. Omigod, yes there are TONS of supporters of marriage equality within the LGBTQ world. But not all of us agree with you. Some of us think we should abolish marriage altogether. I’m speaking as part of that minority. We’re mostly radical queers, dyed-in-the-wool feminists, old lefties, socialists and other bogey people whose only desire is purported to be tearing down both church and state, and making everyone’s life a living hell. Some of us think that triage-wise, marriage falls pretty far down the list of priorities of political focus for the LGBTQ world.

I don’t care about a ban on marriage equality. Fuck it. What I care about is the violence done to queer kids. I care about LGBTQ and any freaky kids who get thrown out of their homes for following their heart’s harmless desires. Prioritizing marriage equality is dangerous to the health of those kids. So I ask myself: what’s so important about marriage to the vocal and visible (and probably even majority) of LGBTQ people?

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Whoops…. I’m Healthy!

My friend, Helen Boyd just now pointed out the embarrassing fact that I’ve not posted a follow-up blog to the announcement of my surgery this past summer and some people are worried about me. SORRY! I’M JUST FINE! See, this is a picture of sassy, healthy me! (photo by Jamie Ann, a new friend of mine in Minneapolis.)Kb_by_jamie_ann_2

The surgery went GREAT! My surgeon calls me his poster girl for success. Honest, he said that right in his crowded waiting room. I love my surgeon. He embraced the New Age affirmations I got from the book, Prepare For Surgery, Heal Faster. He credits the book for my fast, successful recovery. He’s even recommending it to other patients now (the ones he thinks can deal with it).

The hospital staff, doctors, nurses, physician assistants, everyone at Beth Israel Medical Center in New York—with one or two inevitable exceptions (shit happens)—were kind to me. I gave out about two dozen copies of the (downloadable) comic book I’d prepared ahead of time, and it made people laugh.

Beth Israel Medical Center has a policy to give trannies a private room for post-surgical care. After I got over my paranoia of ghettoization, I begrudgingly enjoyed my at-no-extra-charge private room!

I’m eating well now… anything I want to eat!! No more worries about food restrictions. And my energy level is nearly back to FULL. So, I’m sorry I didn’t post this earlier. I’m doing fine. Thank you to everyone who’s been concerned.

Kisses

Kate

Sign of the Transgender Times


I’m at the University of Vermont, attending the 7th Annual Translating Identities Conference. Highest ever attendance: 700 queers and allies. The school was also hosting a day for prospective students and their families on the same day, in the same building. We were all treated to this signage. What joy!

UVM isn’t the only school to have instituted gender neutral bathrooms. Far from it. But this sign is the most out loud and proud reflection I’ve seen of the progress we’re making. Queer students, staff, faculty and administrators around the USA have been working together to make life easier for the in increasingly large campus population of transfolk.

If you’ve got a picture of gender neutral signage on your campus or in your company, please post a link in the comments section, or let me know you’ve got one and I’ll post it here. Yay UVM queers and allies!!

Kisses from the road,

Kate

My Latest Life Lesson in Needing Approval

I’m on tour in the Twin Cities of Minnesota. It’s one of my favorite places in the USA: sweet people, great politics, strong human rights movements, and stellar academia. I’ve been having a great time here, meeting wonderful folks and connecting on many levels of mind, body, spirit, and theory. But yesterday, I ran headlong into an old buried obsession of mine: my obsessive need to be recognized as a peer within PhD circles—something I’ve not experienced in the 20 years I’ve been writing postmodern gender theory with my lowly BA degree in Theater Arts.

Meeting
Here’s what happened… I was invited to a luncheon at the Institute for Advanced Studies at the University of Minnesota in Minneapolis. The IAS is based on a great idea: when anyone in any discipline needs to do high level research with anyone from another discipline, the IAS plays matchmaker, provides some grant money, and the research actually gets done. Voila! Coalition building at the level of higher education. The theme of this year’s Institute is “Body and Knowing.” I was thrilled to have been invited, because I felt I had a great deal to offer and a great deal to learn from the multidisciplinary scholars.

I arrived early with two undergrad students who were my driver and companions for the day. We were met at the door by Angie, the gracious woman who manages the day-to-day workings of the Institute. She showed us to the luncheon room, gave us vouchers for our lunch in the cafeteria, and accompanied us as we bought lunch and returned to the room just before noon, when the luncheon was scheduled.

Thirty minutes later, it was still just the four of us in the room. Not a single one of the Institute’s scholars had come to attend the luncheon to which they’d invited me. At the insistence of the IAS, no one else from the U of M campus was invited to this lunch. It was a closed door affair for members only, and me. Well, I took off, leaving the gift of a “Get Out of Hell Free” card for each of the absent scholars. I asked Angie to please phone me when she had any word as to why this had happened.

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The world’s verdict will be harsh if the US rejects the man it yearns for

The title of this post is the title of an editorial that appeared in the UK Guardian about a month ago. My longtime friend, co-author and political standard bearer Caitlin Sullivan sent me the link. Please forward it on.

Obama_hope_2In his editorial, Jonathan Freedland makes clear the high global stakes in the upcoming election. Most of the world is cheering for Obama, says Freedland. Despite the fact that we allowed a mean-spirited fool take office in this country in two elections, Freedland makes the point that until now, most anti-American sentiment has not been aimed at the average American. Rather, anti-American sentiment has been framed as anti-Bush sentiment.

Generously enough, it seems that the world has given the American people the benefit of the doubt. But according to Freedland if we allow the ridiculous ticket of McCain/Palin to sail into office, our already shaky credibility in the world as Americans will be shot to hell. Sure, Senator Obama has a good lead in the polls, but this isn’t the time to sit back and relax. The Republican campaign is fighting dirty to win. Our response has got to be an active drive for unity on the Left.

Race has been plunked down on the table in the hopes of turning the tide to McCain. The Conservative Right is dragging the old radical socialist bogey man out of their old kit bag, further silencing the genuinely compassionate goals of the radical left. The solution seems clear to me. Even if race isn’t our issue, even if we’re not ourselves radical lefties, we’ve got to do the old Sixties thing and come together. We’ve got to embrace the Obama/Biden ticket as the clear choice of the American people. And we can’t afford to drop the drive for unity once Obama has won the presidency. That would be really stupid of us.

After President Obama is sworn into office as a result of lefty unity, we may very well have found the key to establishing an honest-to-goodness coalition that fights for safety, empowerment, health, and well-being on behalf of all world citizens—regardless of race, age, gender, class, citizenship, sexuality, looks, ability, religion, or ecological stance. Wouldn’t that be something? There’s never been a coalition like that in the history of humanity.

Senator Barack Obama has been talking about hope. Well, that’s what I hope for. I hope you do, too.

with love and respect, and in unity

Kate

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