Rest In Sweet Peace, Alan. I Love You.


My big brother, Alan Vandam Bornstein passed unexpectedly this evening, Monday December 29th at 11:15 pm. He was 68 years old. He would have been 69 on January 12th. He and I were the last two survivors of our immediate family. He's survived by his loving wife Deb, his daughter Stacey and his son Brian. I'm heading down to the Jersey Shore to help with funeral arrangements. I'll post those as soon as I know them. 

This photo is Alan on the left, our dog Rocky, and me. Alan was a great big brother. 

He always had my back. He always stood up for me, no matter what. Damn, I miss him deeply. 


  1. Rest In Peace, Alan. You are loved. Kate, you are too. Let us hold some of your sadness when you need it. xoxo

  2. So very, very sorry. There are no words.

  3. Much love for you and yours, beautiful lady.

  4. I am thinking of you, and sending you support in your mourning.

  5. I’m so sorry for your loss,Kate. My love to you and your family.

  6. I am sending peace and strength to all that knew and loved him.

  7. My and mel’s deepest condolences. We send you and Barbara love.

  8. My and mel’s deepest condolences. We send you and Barbara love.

  9. Love and breath…

  10. Can’t even imagine the pain. 🙁 So, so sorry for your loss. <3

  11. Thank you very much for your warm wishes. It helps to lean into your kindness. xoxo K

  12. I’m so sad for you, Kate. Know that I am holding you and your family (born and chosen) in my heart. Will light a candle for your brother’s spirit.
    Blessings, sister.

  13. Dear Kate, I’m sorry for your loss. I recall the beautiful NYT magazine article you wrote about your mom (z”l) some years ago. (You and I shared time at IBM’s world marketing headquarters around a decade ago, and then a ride back to Manhattan on the Saw Mill River Pkwy.) Thanks for your continued leadership in our community and I wish you continued, sweet memories of your brother Alan (z”l). — Sarah

  14. I’m very, very sorry to hear about your brother. I’ll be sending love your way.

  15. sorry about your brother kate, sending you lots of extra special sparkley glitter hugs and good thoughts xx marsian

  16. Kate,
    My deepest condolences to you. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and the photos on your blog. I wish you all the comfort in the world.
    Nancy W

  17. Please accept My condolences on the ascension of your brother from your life. This is a Hopi Prayer that always helps Me with the loss of loved ones from this plane:

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