That Was Zen, This Is Tao

Jehovah scares meI totally didn't make up the title of this post. I don't know who did, but yay to whoever that was. I've been home for almost a week now… with the freakin' flu! It's not swine flu as far as I can tell. Friends on Twitter know that I suspect I've fallen victim to pug flu. But it's nasty. Life is a whole lot of ouch. And my brain is mush, so I can't write very well. Hence, the stolen title for this blog. Again… thank you, whoever you are who came up with that line.

I've just come off my last round of this year's touring season. Over the last two months, I've spoken at several religious gatherings, and leadership conferences. I'm not all that good at being a leader, and I mostly resent being led. As to religion, I haven't yet found one that welcomes me completely… well, other than Bokononism, and the cosmology of the Seven Endless (who make up the tattoo sleeve on my left arm). But I wasn't speaking with Bokononists, and I wasn't at a comics con with a group of people who can get into Neil Gaiman's notion of beings upwards of the gods and goddesses. I was keynoting the 13th Annual Conference of NUJLS, The National Union of Jewish LGBT Students, and the 3rd Annual Transgender Religious Summit. What was I supposed to say?

To my great relief, I found some truly interesting angles on both religion and leadership. I can't sum it up for you. Like I said, my brain is mush right now. BUT, I can give you the notes for my talks. And if you click right here, that's what you'll have.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh, if I only had a brain. 'til then…

kiss, kiss

Kate

Ajmal Hussein and The Scholars, by Idries Shah

Over the past couple of decades, I've ended up on the losing side of philosophical and pedagogical run-ins with scholars, academics, and students who are trying to learn scholarly, academic ways. I inevitably manage to lift my spirits by reading and re-reading this essay by Idries Shah.

Nasrudin
Idries Shah writes about Sufis, who are to Islam roughly what Zen practitioners are to Buddhism: out and out fools and borderline apostates. Sufis and Zen masters teach with comedy, fun, slapstick, irreverence, and paradox—all of which have for aeons been anathema to the world of serious scholarship and academia. 
I highly recommend any of Idres Shah's books, but particularly any of his collection of tales of the Grand Mulla Nasrudin—a much beloved Sufi Trickster character, most commonly portrayed riding backwards on his beloved donkey.
However, in this essay from his book, The Wisdom of Idiots, Idries Shah writes about a true Sufi master: Ajmal Hussein. In this tale, Shah attempts to delineate Sufi wisdom from scholarly knowledge. Here's the essay in its entirety. If you enjoy it, please consider buying yourself a copy of The Wisdom of Idiots.

The Story of Ajmal Hussein and The Scholars

Sufi Ajmal Hussein was constantly being criticized by scholars, who feared that his repute might outshine their own. They spared no efforts to cast doubts upon his knowledge, to accuse him of taking refuge from their criticisms in mysticism, and even to imply that he had been guilty of discreditable practices. At length he said:

‘If I answer my critics, they make it the opportunity to bring fresh accusation against me, which people believe such things. If I do not answer them they crow and preen themselves, and people believe that they are real scholars. They imagine that we Sufis oppose scholarship. We do not. But our very existence is a threat to the pretended scholarship of tiny noisy ones. Scholarship long since disappeared. What we have to face now is sham scholarship.’

The scholars shrilled more loudly than ever. At last Ajmal said:

‘Argument is not as effective as demonstration. I shall give you an insight into what these people are like.’

He invited ‘question papers’ from the scholars, to allow them to test his knowledge and ideas. Fifty different professors and academicians sent questionnaires to him. Ajmal answered them all differently. When the scholars met to discuss these papers, at a conference, there were so many versions of what he believed, that each one thought that he had exposed Ajmal, and refused to give up his thesis in favor of any other. The result was the celebrated ‘brawling of the scholars.’ For five days they attacked each other bitterly.

‘This,’ said Ajmal, ‘is a demonstration. What matters to each one most is his own opinion and his own interpretation. They care nothing for truth. This is what they do with everyone’s teachings. When he is alive, they torment him. When he dies they become experts on his works. The real motive of the activity, however, is to vie with one another and to oppose anyone outside their own ranks. Do you want to become one of them? Make a choice soon.'

Idries Shah    

Boy, that makes my day. I feel better already. How about you?

Beginning next week, I head out on my next round of speaking and performance engagements. I hope to see you soon.

warmly,

Kate

Eulogy for my brother, Alan V. Bornstein

Albert-alan-skippy

The memorial service for my brother was held down on the Jersey Shore yesterday, January 2nd 2009. The service was held three days after he died, according to the wishes of his wife's family who aren't Jewish and don't observe the 24 hour rule for burials. Anyway, my brother and I both decided we'd rather be cremated so that messes up any orthodox burial. On top of that, I've got a gazillion tats, and just one tat will keep you barred from a Jewish cemetery burial. I'm babbling.

I hate that my brother is gone. This is a picture of me, him, and our Dad's dog, Skippy. 

 I'm home with the flu and a bad case laryngitis I've had for two days now. The laryngitis went away for the 13 minutes it took me to deliver his eulogy, and then it came back. That's show biz, it is. The show must go on is part of my ethos.

Before his body was cremated, I got to sit with my brother for awhile. I told him what I wanted to tell
him. I listened to what he had to say. I could hear him laughing. I hope I'm always able to hear him laughing—he loved a good joke. I promised him I'd write him a kick-ass eulogy. I promised him I'd make people laugh and I'd make 'em cry. He liked that. So this is the text of that eulogy

I hate that my big brother is gone. I hope the eulogy makes you laugh and makes you cry.

Happy new year. 

K

Oh Boy! Pope Benedict Curses Postmodern Gender Theory!

610x

With only moments left til the beginning of 2009, I was really worried that postmodern gender theorists would once again go un-noticed, ignored and un-condemned by His Holiness, Pope Benedict XVI. (Note… NOT Benedict XX or XY, but XVI… imagine that!) 

Well, thank goodness, PBXVI came to his senses. On December 23rd, he has actually condemned postmodern gender theory in his end-of-the-year speech. Why is His Holiness so concerned? 

According to an article in The Australian

[Gender theory] blurs the distinction between male and female and could thus lead to the "self-destruction" of the human race.

Hey! That's what I've been saying all along! Wheeeeee! But wait, there's more:

When the Roman Catholic Church defends God's Creation, "it does not only defend the earth, water and the air … but (it) also protects man from his own destruction.''

Oh. My. God! The entire Roman Catholic Church is defending man [sic] from me and mine! I feel so… vindicated! 'tis the season to be JOLLY!

extra special holiday kisses,

Kate

Okay… Overturn Prop 8, but F*ck Marriage Anyway

Caveat: this blog is seriously high on my crone/curmudgeon scale of crankiness.

I have problems with these Prop 8 protests. If you don’t already know about the Proposition 8 mess going on in California and nation-wide, here’s a wiki-summary. Yeah, if I’m not working, I plan to join the protest. But no, I won’t be protesting a ban on marriage equality. I’ll be protesting because I care about the legal ramifications and precedents set with passing Prop 8.

Marriage_joysThe brouhaha concerning marriage equality is generated by people who say they’re speaking for all LGBTQ people everywhere in this country. Omigod, yes there are TONS of supporters of marriage equality within the LGBTQ world. But not all of us agree with you. Some of us think we should abolish marriage altogether. I’m speaking as part of that minority. We’re mostly radical queers, dyed-in-the-wool feminists, old lefties, socialists and other bogey people whose only desire is purported to be tearing down both church and state, and making everyone’s life a living hell. Some of us think that triage-wise, marriage falls pretty far down the list of priorities of political focus for the LGBTQ world.

I don’t care about a ban on marriage equality. Fuck it. What I care about is the violence done to queer kids. I care about LGBTQ and any freaky kids who get thrown out of their homes for following their heart’s harmless desires. Prioritizing marriage equality is dangerous to the health of those kids. So I ask myself: what’s so important about marriage to the vocal and visible (and probably even majority) of LGBTQ people?

Read More

Honoring Virginia Ramey Mollenkott

514k8xghl_ss500__2Remarks I wrote and delivered in New York City at the Union Theological Seminary on Friday, September 19th, 2008—on the occasion of the publication of the new edition of her book, Sensuous Spirituality, and the acceptance of Virginia Ramey Mollenkott’s archives at The Center for Lesbian & Gay Studies in Religion & Ministry at Pacific School of Religion, Berkeley, California.

******************************

One of the major blocks to going through with my gender change was my fear of God’s wrath. It makes sense—I’m a Jew, and we believe that God can be mighty wrathful when He wants to be—no matter that wrath is a deadly sin.

I left religion behind me, and embraced atheism as a spiritual path. Many transgender people do that: when our religious leaders tell us how angry God is going to be with us for messing with our God-given genders, we turn away from God. And we eventually reach a point of unbearable loneliness and inconsolable grief, with no God to comfort us. Virginia Ramey Mollenkott is the first person to address our spiritual conundrum. She is the first person to return us to God’s comfort and wisdom.

Read More

God bless America, God curse the freaks.

RedwhiteblueThe closer we get to the US presidential election, the more frequently we hear, God, bless America. I’ve been embarrassed about that phrase all my life, because I’ve never known what God bless America (GBA) actually means. GBA is used variously as a statement of fact, a prayer, a wish, or a blessing. I think I’ve finally got it figured out… and God bless America is none of the above.

At first glance, GBA looks like a statement. But to make that work, you’d have to say, “God blesses America.” GBA sounds more like a command—a phrase generally spoken in an impressively commanding tone—as if to say, “God, I command You to bless America.” But no one commands God, right? Not even the people who claim to understand Him or His will.

Many people agree that God bless America is a fervent wish, a longing, or a prayer. If so, it sure is a strange prayer—intoned as it usually is, with fierce belligerence and/or an ear-to-ear grin. When spoken like that, God bless America can sure whip up an audience. Crowds of thousands respond to GBA with unbridled cheers of affirmation, and genuine tears of relief. And that’s the key to what GBA really is. It’s nothing so high and mighty as a prayer, a command, or a statement of fact. God bless America is a slogan. I mean, duh!

Read More

Text of Keynote Address to Western Regional Queer Conference, ’08

Hey there. Long time, no write.

I’ve just returned home from tour. I’ve been either on the road or in the hospital (woo-hoo!) from September up to now. Touring and writing are activities that demand all of me, so I don’t do both at the same time. So, I’m back. To everything, there is a season. This seems to be the season for writing.

While I was on the road this year, I either performed my solo show, “On Men, Women, and The Rest of Us,” or I delivered some sort of keynote address. The show is a cut-n-paste piece—drawn from all my favorite words to read/perform at that moment.

The keynote address is something that evolves over the course of months, even years. I spoke the latest version of something I’m working on at the 2008 Western Regional Queer Conference, hosted by UCLA. So, I’m including the text here because this is as far as I’ve gotten with it. The conference theme was “Viva the Queervolution!” Some conference attendees asked me to make my keynote text available, so here it is.

Read More

My Grrlfriend’s Book Is A Big Hit!!!!

UrbantantrabookcoverOh lookee, lookee!!! Urban Tantra: Sacred Sex for the Twenty-First Century. It’s an amazing book. Don’t take my word for it… lookit the great review she got in Publishers Weekly!!

"This handy how-to promises mind-blowing, toe-curling, highly spiritual sex for humble beginners, BDSM aficionados and everyone in between. Sex educator Carrellas is on a mission to bring Tantra-the ancient practice of sacred sex, in which interpersonal connection and transformative ecstasy are the norm-to the modern world, to reclaim sex from "messed-up, sexually-dysfunctional, judgmental, and ignorant culture," and to shift the urban sex paradigm from recreational activity to a sumptuous, impassioned way of life. Not that one necessarily needs that kind of ambition: Carrellas offers ways to enhance any old sexual encounter (with techniques like breathing, stroking, prodding and piercing), techniques for solo play and countless uses for a trunk full of toys. Same sex, transgender, and multi-partner play is encouraged (if not highly recommended), and the text is peppered with illuminating, try-this-at-home anecdotes. Pictures and diagrams are whimsical but instructive, making Carrellas’s cheerful descriptions of unusual concepts-"gigglegasms," "rainbow rubs" and "the mushy puss" among them-easy to grasp. A final chapter, on "Sex Magic," examines the power of Tantra to achieve a number of effects, from backpain relief to a happier office to world peace; however far you’d like to take your sex life, this friendly guide will likely show the way."

C’mon, is that great or what? Yay, Barbara!

Read More

Yes, Santa Claus, there is a Virginia.

Vm_comic_1stpageVirginia Ramey Mollenkott celebrated her 75th birthday a few days ago. You may or may not know Virginia, but the odds are if you’re reading this blog, your life has been touched by her work.
In 1978, Virginia Mollenkott co-authored (with Letha Dawson Scanzoni) the book Is
        the Homosexual My Neighbor? A Postive Christisan Response
.
God alone knows how many queer lives she saved with that book, which is still on the shelves, revised and re-isued, after 19 years. Yow!
I first ran into this handsome butch spiritual lesbian about ten years
ago when we met at the now defunct A Different Light LGBT bookstore in
New York City. Virginia has written 13 books, but my favorite remains Omnigender: A Trans-Religious Approach, in which she debunks the myth of religious "truth" of two and two only genders, and she does this religion by religion. It’s amazing work.

Read More